Knit Together

Let one who wants to move and convince others, first be convinced and moved themselves. If a person speaks with genuine earnestness the thoughts, the emotion and the actual condition of their own heart, others will listen because we all are knit together.
--Thomas Carlyle

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A Decision to Make

Well, the lab results are in, confirming what my body communicated to me all weekend. No more pregnancy.

At the same time, the company for which I worked last spring has an opportunity for a position that I am considering. I'm at the fork in the road, in the sense that if I took this job, it would demand my time and energy in a way that nothing else has. In other words, the job would be my first priority. I have no doubt I am capable. The question is, do I want it?

Do I want to give up my memoir writing group, my reguarly scheduled volunteer work, my time for art, my time for reading and blogging and seeing friends (not to mention my husband)? Do I want to live for the job, to be available for 7 a.m. meetings with principals or 7 p.m. meetings with parents, as well as during the school day and into the evenings and weekends? Do I want the responsibility for supervising 20 staff and 200 students over five school locations? Do I want the intensity of working for a startup company that has big plans and less than perfect implementation? Is it possible to do this and try again to get pregnant? Given my two pregnancy losses, if we are serious about trying to have a family, is this job a good idea? The stress level will be be higher than normal. Then again, should I shelve an opportunity because I want to get pregnant, when I may never succeed in having a child?

Or... do I want to find a part-time job or two, or look for less demanding but equally fulfilling full-time work, perhaps at a non-profit? Do I want to revisit the private coaching practice idea? You may notice that the right sidebar has changed a bit. I eliminated the links to psychology and mental health and replaced them with links that align with the theme of blog. My mission: express, discover, renew, create. When I think about the coaching practice, a couple areas of interest pop up. I have always enjoyed my volunteer work as a conversation partner with international students. This area has a significant international population. I think about cross-cultural coaching; that is, coaching people new to this culture to help them adjust and navigate the social customs, as well as practice speaking English. Would people pay for such a service? I would love to do that.

And I'm intrigued by creativity coaching as well. What does that mean, exactly? I'd have to figure out what I mean, what I offer, in that realm. The idea of helping people access their creativity as writers or visual artists appeals. So does the idea of applying creativity to life, to pursuing goals. I'm just brainstorming a bit here.

While I've been lonely at times, and a bit isolated and bored these past months, I have also reveled in the opportunities my unemployment provided. Opportunities to create. Time to create. What I need to do is apply a little more energy and thought to my life, to treat it as my own start-up. You see, one fact that attracts me to the job I've been offered is this: it's there. It's low-hanging fruit, easy to get. But is it ripe? Will it taste good?

The floor is open, if you care to put in your two cents.

[cross-posted at A Mindful Life]


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