Knit Together

Let one who wants to move and convince others, first be convinced and moved themselves. If a person speaks with genuine earnestness the thoughts, the emotion and the actual condition of their own heart, others will listen because we all are knit together.
--Thomas Carlyle

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Dropping Things

Well, one thing. I am in the process of losing my second pregnancy. I lost the first one in July at 8 weeks. I'm only at 6 weeks 4 days now, but bleeding and cramping began this morning and have continued. I went in for blood tests and will go back Saturday morning for more so they have a comparison of hormone level. I'm told that lots of women successfully carry pregnancies even though they have spotting, but my body just feels as though it is rejecting this. Having already miscarried once, I'm not confident. Being 42 increases my doubt.

I was trying not to tell people. The first time I got pregnant, I shared the excitement with friends and family. It was too big not to. Untelling good news is hard, though. So I thought I'd downplay it next time, say nothing until I'd passed 12 to 16 weeks. Okay, fine, except that miscarrying is a big deal too, and I don't carry sorrows very well privately.

3 Comments:

  • At 12:45 AM, Blogger Kate Christ said…

    Oh, Kathryn. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, and how my whole heart aches for you.

    If there's anything in the world that I can do, no matter how big or small, let me know and I'll do it.

     
  • At 5:17 AM, Blogger Songbird said…

    Kathryn, I'm so sorry. I've been there, twice, at six weeks or so. I wish a hug could get from here to there.
    Take good care of yourself.

     
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger kasturi said…

    kathryn, i have a friend who has miscarried twice: twins at four months :( and more recently an early miscarriage. she's pregnant again now too, and cramping, but her doctor said it might just be from hormonal changes in her ligaments.

    i'm also a 'hestian' and very glad to find your blog. i'll write more to you personally via email soon.

     

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