Dropping Things

Well, one thing. I am in the process of losing my second pregnancy. I lost the first one in July at 8 weeks. I'm only at 6 weeks 4 days now, but bleeding and cramping began this morning and have continued. I went in for blood tests and will go back Saturday morning for more so they have a comparison of hormone level. I'm told that lots of women successfully carry pregnancies even though they have spotting, but my body just feels as though it is rejecting this. Having already miscarried once, I'm not confident. Being 42 increases my doubt.

I was trying not to tell people. The first time I got pregnant, I shared the excitement with friends and family. It was too big not to. Untelling good news is hard, though. So I thought I'd downplay it next time, say nothing until I'd passed 12 to 16 weeks. Okay, fine, except that miscarrying is a big deal too, and I don't carry sorrows very well privately.